I’ve never regretted something so much in my life. It didn’t bother that much at first but after my birthday? It got worse and worse and worse. It’s the worst feeling and it’s not like I can talk to people about it. It’s not like they would really understand the shit. I won’t ever forgive myself for it. I let others influence my decision….thinking about them more than I was thinking about myself…..tryna be selfless….and this is where it got me…….crying all the fuckin’ time…feeling guilty….doubting my future……resentment towards everyone else……..yeah, selflessness is what you do when you want others to look at you as the hero….fuck being a hero if you’re gonna torture yourself everyday for the rest of your life for it…..be selfish…completely selfish.